I watched you…I watched you. I watched you talk. I watched the words come out of your mouth. Yes, I did. I can see the words. I can hear the words. I am considering these words. They are deep. They are convincing. They are intentional. They are demoralizing. I could not bring them to a standstill. They struck my most personal and gentle parts. They escaped about this private property and not a word fell unheard. Swirling and swirling to cover more ground in my soul. They touched me inside and out. Seducing my most delicate spaces. They dug deep into my pores…heading with such eagerness directly to my Soul.
Then I saw your mouth say “Sorry”. Sorry for loitering on this partially guarded property. You thought it was okay since this precious land was left unattended. “I am sorry for intruding” you said. At the sound of your “Sorry” my spirit jumped with such delight…and those words that did not make it to my most inner core but instead had taken up residence on my skin began falling to the ground.
But No! No! No! Those words that “my protector did not take notice of” had burrowed themselves deep into my soul only waiting to be scraped away some day by a stint of time. They had settled in this property without a title or legal right. They had taken permanent residence in this private property called the Soul.
Welcome home you squatters…
© All words and images by Tanya Graham
Memories live on in the things that are “no longer needed or wanted”. As a young girl, I remember waking up on cold Georgia mornings not wanting to emerge from the thick wool blankets that covered me. If we were lucky we were blessed to have electric blankets that made us in some weird fashion seem privileged to have in those times. As I emerged from the warmth of my bed, the cold air chilled me as I held my thick cotton night wear close to my body. As the flames roared brilliant colors of orange and red, I would watch the flames jump as the heat propelled from its mouth. The warmth seemed to not travel more than a few feet before the chill took over again. Moving closer and closer to the flames in an effort to stay warm without catching fire. If it was not for this “no longer needed or wanted” friend, I would have frozen to death on those cold Georgia mornings. So I thought…as a young girl.
©All words and images by Tanya Graham
My truth. Is it really truth? Or is it the delusion of visions, feelings, hopes, dreams, missed opportunities, yearnings, cravings, and late night nightmares that take shelter in my spirit and soul? Will my truth forever hold me captive to the reality of nothing tangible? Nothing that is made of steel that will remain unbreakable and unmoved by the delusion of visions, feelings, hopes, dreams, missed opportunities, yearnings, cravings, and late night nightmares that haunt my spirit and soul.
©All words & images by Tanya Graham unless otherwise noted.