my body is so weak, fragile and broken that I did not have the strength to go through the door
Just as I was about to settle into my new freedom another thorn stabbed me deeply. I awoke abruptly from my spell.
As I walked each day to clear my head and shed the tears of regret, I begin to devise a way to say "I messed up. I am sorry. I am lost to my next step."
The apartment is gravely positioned down a stretch of road littered with trash on both sides. On any given night it would not be safe to walk alone. Weeds overgrown with a wilderness that mimics the very people that lived there. The apartment buildings exhibit an exhausted appearance of a woman once pretty but now worn and ugly from the men that have run through and in her.
The stairwell that leads to an upstairs apartment is dark, damp, and dingy.
My plan not my purpose led me up the stairs to one of the darkest seasons of my life. At no specific time, the smell of burnt plastic would fill the air. I soon learned this was the smell of crack cocaine.
My plan to be independent led me to sleep on an old mattress laid on the scuffed wooden floor of an apartment void of life. No furniture…
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One chair sits across an empty room on a plain discolored wall next to the door. A little television sits propped on the chair serving as entertainment that in a short period of time proved to be a distraction out of poverty. For the next four hours, cartoons would be the choice of education for these men. Men that had single mothers, children and “baby mommas” that awaited the attention of a man with purpose, drive and ambition that was so needed to destroy the generational curses of sin and poverty that was exposed every time I stepped onto the pavement of the apartments that were gravely positioned down a stretch of road littered with trash on both sides.
My plan, not my purpose had me embarrassed and angry at the position I had placed myself in.
The smell of crack cocaine came in between the stints of…
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The apartment is gravely positioned down a stretch of road littered with trash on both sides. On any given night it would not be safe to walk alone. Weeds overgrown with a wilderness that mimics the very people that lived there. The apartment buildings exhibit an exhausted appearance of a woman once pretty but now... Continue Reading →
The hot summer days of Georgia had a special way of piercing my skin with a darkness that made most black folks uncomfortable. I was a beautiful sun-kissed child that loved playing outside; but somehow, this love and longing to enjoy the beautiful rays of sun and the smell of the fresh grass and blooming... Continue Reading →
TODAY June 4th I craved peace but it did not come. It was not tangible so I could not touch it. My paradise eluded me again. I sat delusional. My truth still holding me captive. My reality engulfed pain and disappointment. Anger that spilled over the edge of time and ran into my crystal blue... Continue Reading →